For Sale: Air Fryer - Turns Out I Actually Like Deep-Fried Food

Dear 1990 Batch Family,

Selling my air fryer because I've finally accepted who I am: a person who prefers taste over health.

**What's Included:**

- **Air Fryer:** Ninja 5.5 Qt (sounds like a warrior, cooks like a confused robot)

- **Recipe Book:** 50 pages, read 2 pages

- **Warranty Card:** Still valid (unlike my willpower)

- **Instruction Manual:** In pristine condition (I wing everything)

- **My Collection of Lies:** "It tastes EXACTLY like deep-fried!" (Narrator: It did not)

**Usage Stats:**

- Times Used: 12

- Times I Pretended It Tasted Good: 12

- Times I Secretly Ordered Burger King After: 11

- Times I Lied to My Doctor: Don't ask

**Condition:** Like new! Mostly because I gave up quickly.

**What I Tried to Make:**

✅ French Fries (Result: Sad potato sticks)

✅ Chicken Wings (Result: Dry disappointment)

✅ Samosas (Result: *Personal trauma, cannot discuss*)

✅ Vadai (Result: My ancestors are ashamed)

**Price:** $80 CAD (Paid $180 + cost of therapy)

**Why I'm Selling:**

Life's too short to eat "healthy" french fries. Also, my kids started a petition demanding "REAL food" and it got 47 signatures (mostly from themselves using different pen colors).

**Location:** Markham, ON

**Testimonials:**

- "It's... um... good for you?" - Me, lying to myself

- "Dad, can we just go to McDonald's?" - My brutally honest child

- "This tastes like cardboard had a baby with styrofoam" - My best friend (ex-best friend)

**Perfect For:**

- People with more willpower than me (so... everyone)

- Someone who genuinely enjoys the taste of air-cooked food

- People who can lie to themselves better than I can

- Anyone who wants to feel superior to me

**Not Perfect For:**

- People who like flavor

- Anyone from our parents' generation (they'll lecture you about "back in our day")

- Me (established)

**Bonus Feature:** I'll throw in my tears and broken dreams at no extra cost!

Call/Text: [number] - Ask for "The Person Who Failed at Healthy Living"

*P.S. - I'm now eating vadai from Ganesha Restaurant and I've never been happier. Sometimes you have to choose joy over jean size.*

Cheers,

Priya/Praveen (Take your pick, we're all in the same boat)

Class of '90

Still choosing taste over waistline since 1990! 🍔😂

*One Family. One 90 Batch. Together We Rise (Our Cholesterol Levels)*